3 Mistakes That People Make in Life

Introduction

If you are reading this article then the chances are that there are things in your life that are not as you would like them to be; the circumstances of your life aren't all that you would have hoped for; or you find that you are unhappy with the way things are.

The good news is you're not alone and you are about to learn about 3 mistakes that people frequently make and how to avoid them. These things prevent you from having the life of your dreams.

Remember: Change does not happen over night! The principles and tips you will learn need to be practiced and applied in your life by You. No-one else can do any of these things for you!

1. Not Setting Goals and Not Dreaming

Top of the list of mistakes is the lack of Goals and Dreams. For many people, simply setting goals and defining their dreams for themselves is 90% of the problem. "Yes, yes, I've heard all this before..." Mmm... so how come you are reading this article?

Most people have heard somewhere that they are "supposed" to set Goals and have Dreams, but 95% of us don't bother. Is it any wonder then that only 5% of people ever achieve their goals? Well if they are the only people setting them, then isn't it pretty obvious???

So, is it as simple as setting goals? Well, yes and no. Only a fool would think that they simply had to write down a long list of things that they want and they would magically appear! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that goals need lots of hard work attached to them, we'll get to that in a little while!

There are good goals and ones that aren't any good. The following principles will help you to define a goal that you are likely to get attached to and, as such, are likely to achieve.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals

• S - Simple Is it simple to convey your goal in a few words?
• M - Measurable How will you measure your progress?
• A - Achievable Can you achieve the goal?
• R - Realistic Are you being realistic about time and details?
• T - Timely Have you put a date on it?

There are other important aspects too:

• Positive goal - never use words like "not" and "don't" etc. e.g. I am not poor, instead, say "I am wealthy".
• Present tense - write the goal as if you have achieved it now, or say something like: "It is the 25th of January 2011 and I have..."
• Focus - don't dwell on the goal all the time, but leave reminders such as photos, or 'post-it notes' around that you will see every now and again to keep your focus steady but relaxed.

So, to sum up, in order to achieve something, you have to set goals...

Otherwise, what on earth are you aiming for???

2. Making a Living, Not Making a Life

The belief that you have to work hard to get anywhere in life is an extremely common one. The bottom line is that if something feels like hard work, how likely are you to be happy about it? If you are working hard at something that you really loathe to do, find boring, or doesn't satisfy you, then no amount of amazing outcome will ever make the journey worthwhile.

In order to move forward in life, you need to redefine your ideas about working hard. Think of something you really love to do, maybe golf, shopping or spending time with the kids (if you don't love doing any of those, then pick something else). Now, answer this question: "How much hard work is it to do this thing?"

It's not at all hard is it? Yet, you are spending time and energy (probably as much as you can spare) on these activities. The same applies to work, business or whatever you do to eat, clothe and shelter yourself. If you really love doing what you are doing, then it's not hard work at all. There may be small parts of it that you don't enjoy so much, but generally you'll just skip through these and get on to the good stuff.

In my work (which I adore), I meet so many people who are slogging their guts out at work, striving to achieve more and earn more money. Really, they are slowly wasting away their time on things they really don't enjoy doing, in order to have enough money to buy something that might make them feel happy for a while.

Why not do what you enjoy, anyway?

Is this not your challenge, to find the thing you love to do and then do as much of it as you can? Ok, so it might not be easy to find, but I assure you that if you look and you are open to it, you will find it.

Think about the people who seem to skip happily through life, they appear to get all the breaks and the good stuff...

They are simply happy with what they are doing!

3. Wondering, "Why Does it Always Happen to Me?"

This is what I call 'self-entrapment'. Thinking thoughts like this keeps you trapped in a loop that you cannot easily escape from. Imagine a world where everything that is going to happen is governed by what has happened before! In fact the only certainty we know is death - and with advances in medical science, it wouldn't surprise me if we find a way to eradicate that little problem one day!

So why do so many of us live our lives based on this unwavering belief that things always happen this way, or bad things always happen to us?

Well, your brain believes that you need to make sense of your world and so it remembers everything that ever happens to you. Then, when it perceives that you need more information, it will present you with all the evidence to suggest what might be about to happen. The problem is that it is often passed through a filter - normally a negative one.

Now this filter is trying to do something positive for you, it is trying to keep you safe, or sane. However all that it achieves is to create fear, discomfort and indecision in you. This keeps you stuck in the past - usually with the belief that if it's happened before, then it'll happen again. In order to create lasting change in your life, you are going to need to do something different to the way you have done it previously. In order to do this, you have to believe that things can be different. "Why does it always happen to me?" is going to need to be replaced by something like, "I have the opportunity to be different and to attract new, more positive circumstances into my life."

So, you can believe that: because the last 3 major life decisions you have made haven't worked out, that there is no point making a new one now. Alternatively, you can think:

"I have learned so much from my past choices and I can build on this learning with my next choice."

One final thought, from one of the great business philosophers: "For things to change you have to change." (Jim Rohn)

Dan O'Neil is a Life Coach working in the UK. He specialises in helping people create a work-life balance, improve their confidence and self-esteem, and achieve their goals in life. Dan also writes a popular personal development blog

More information on Dan's Life Coaching services. This article forms part of a free ebook download available on Dan's website.

Understanding Faithful Religious Followers

How can you honestly understand someone else's opinion if they sincerely differ from yours? For years I have been trying to understand the beliefs portrayed by organized religions around the world. Whenever someone is explaining part of their religion to me and I bring something to their attention, about their religion, and they don't know the answer, their replies always seem to be based around faith. You just need to believe.

I've been asking people for years, why do you believe? The answers vary from time to time but the essence of the answers are similar. Our conversations seem to start out with a few facts, which leads us into a friendly discussion about their religious beliefs and how they were formed. Whenever I start to dig a little too deep or ask some of these people questions that they don't have the answers to, the conversation always ends abruptly and the word faith always seems to appear.

I feel like this is the easy way out for religious believers.

I'm sure that they get frustrated with me, asking them questions about their religions, that they can't answer. Most of these people won't even bother to find the answers for themselves either, this has often irritated me, but at the same time I think I understand. Most people want to be a part of something but won't take the time to be involved in it. Living a life based on a little information, a lot of hope and the rest completely immersed in faith, seems like a life that is lived without questioning the most important thing in your life.

If I went to a place of worship and asked this question "What's the Most Important Thing in Your Life?" I would imagine most of these people would tell me it was their God or gods. God seems to be the main focus on their lives but they don't seek to understand how he came to be, why he doesn't help the poor, why won't God communicate with us, or even something as simple as understanding some, at the least 10% of your religion.

I don't believe there's anything wrong with living a faithful life. I have faith in things that are out of my control and am still seeking answers to their origins and existence. The sun, Earth, air, water and even God. I suggest to religious, nonbelievers and spiritual people all over the world, to gather a little more information about your beliefs, if they are indeed important to you.

Greg Vanden Berge is a published author, internet marketing expert, motivational inspiration to millions of people all over the world and is sharing some of his wisdom with experts in the fields of writing,marketing, and personal development. Check out one of his recommended books, You Can Heal Your Life

If you want to read something funny and get your daily laugh in, you need to read this, it's funny Using Religion Responsibility . It's based on overindulgence

Spirituality Information - Murder Your Motivation

For ten years i made the same mistake again and again.... I cannot recall a single morning when i got up full of energy and raring to go. There was nothing which motivated me. I used to work for the best companies across the world but they mattered very little deep down within me. I wanted to do something else, something so big and so unique that has never been done before. The biggest mistake i made was I thought that i can achieve all my dreams only if do it full time and quit my job.... I did not have the guts to quit my job and so i just thought and thought about my dream and did nothing else about it ... One fine day however ....

It was Jan 12th 2004. I was doing very well as an employee. Great salaries,top position and it was all looking very good for me from the outside. But my deepest intention of being a full time motivational writer remained only a thought and nothing more.... I can still recall that day . I was so frustrated that i locked myself in a room and screamed to my dreams within" Never again bother me . Get out of my life and let be be the ordinary man i always was.Get lost right now !" I stabbed my dreams a dozen times and murdered it so that it never troubled me again....

By evening of that day i was feeling very light as if a huge responsibility had been taken away from my shoulders. I killed my dreams and now i was free.. I had no pressure. It seemed to me that I was carrying a mountain of dreams for the last seven years without fulfilling any of them. I felt as if it was the best thing to happen to me.. Now watch what happened during the next two weeks...

Jan 13th 2004.... I get up at 4.30 am . I am so happy . I dont know why.... I listen to my favourite music and then I sit for meditation. I head to my workplace after having breakfast..

Jan 14th 2004.... I get up again at 5.00 am and am feeling very calm within. I dont know why....

This continued for two weeks and then on ....

Jan 28th 2004.... Something very strange happened in my morning meditation. It was as if someone entered into me from outside and was not willing to go out..... The experience was very strange....That someone i later realised was my Inspiration, my real goal, my dream, my life and my purpose in this world.That was my real intention and God was kind enough to reveal it to me. From that day on a voice within spoke continuously to me that my real purpose in life is to build centres where Life changing thoughts are preached and that help will come as i gain strength and momentum in my internal world... This experience did not leave from then on... It caught me by the neck and reminded me of my real intention every day.... Slowly but surely i made progress in my internal world. I did not experience any frustration.... Now i had a great dream, and the plans for achieving those dreams were revealed daily to me from a source far greater than me which was genuine. These plans did not come all at a stretch but they came in bits and pieces as was necessary . I was warned from that day on that i will listen to two voices and i should be capable of recognising the force of God...

Within one year i quit my job. I did not try hard to quit my job . My job disappeared all by itself.. I am still far of from reaching my goals but i have a dream and it just does go out not even if i scream or stab it a dozen times. This dream is genuine and rock solid .....

The two most important definitions you have to learn in life are Motivation and Inspiration. Motivation is when you go after a goal,or a dream and set plans to achieve it.... This could be many times frustrating and on most occassions even after you achieve your so called dreams you are not happy. But inspiration is something totally different... In the case of Inspiration the dream gets hold of you instead of you going after the dreams. It works its way inside of you and just does not leave you. You are forced to take action.... Inspiration is genuine and is the force of God ... Motivation is good but is man made...

Don't go after things in circle. Murder your motivation today to allow Inspiration to take over. It could be the best thing that could happen to you.... Motivation is cheap, inspiration is genuine. When you are motivated you have to run after things, when you are inspired things work in your favour. Both good and bad events take you to your dreams... It might take a while for you to experience all this but this knowledge should be nailed at the back of your mind....

There are three basic steps you could take starting today as you proceed to murder your motivation.

Lecturer, entrepreneur and Fortune 500 business consultant, Vish Writer is the author of the Amazon No 1 bestseller, "The Joy of Becoming God" For more information, visit: http://www.spiritual-simplicity.com http://www.vish-writer.com

Mindfulness Meditation - A Path To Happiness

Meditation has been found to have a positive influence on the body, mind, and spirit. Successful management of chronic pain, decrease in blood pressure, and reduction in stress hormones are a few of the physiological benefits of meditative practices. Meditation is also known to produce a variety of psychological benefits, including reduction of anxiety, enhanced sense of well-being, increased awareness of emotions, and a greater sense of self-actualization. Spiritual bliss and enlightenment are among the spiritual benefits of meditation.

Recently scientists have looked at the effect of mindfulness meditation (one type of awareness meditation) on the brain and neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity refers to the brains ability to develop and change - essentially rewire itself - in response to training and/or experience. Richard Davidson, PhD at the University of Wisconsin has conducted research that indicates that meditation increases neuronal firings in the left frontal cortex of the brain the same area associated with positive feelings and happiness. Studies involving very experienced meditators (Buddhist monks) have shown that these brain changes may be long lasting. In other words, mindfulness meditation may increase your level of happiness and the more you practice the happier you will be.

Rather than disregarding any distracting thoughts, those practicing mindfulness meditation simply observe their thoughts without judgment. The goal of this form of meditation is to increase awareness in the present moment. If you want to give this type of meditation a try, I suggest beginning with a mindful walking practice. This simply means that while you are walking, you keep your awareness on the experience of walking. Stay in the present moment and be aware of what your body feels like as you walk. Notice the sensations as you put one foot in front of the other. Notice the sights, sounds, and smells around you. Simply keep your awareness on your experience in the moment.

When other thoughts come into your mind (and they most definitely will come) simply observe them and let them go without judging them. This is a key to mindfulness - rather than getting caught up in these thoughts or berating yourself for having distracting thoughts, it is important to be an impartial observer of the thoughts flowing through your mind. Remember observe the thoughts and let them go.

As you gain experience with this type of meditation, you will gain the understanding that your true essence - your essential spirit - is not the contents of your mind, but rather the observer of the contents. This awareness will help you detach from intense emotions and allow them to flow freely and easily. When practiced on a regular basis, mindfulness becomes a way of life and a path toward greater happiness, peace, and joy.

Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. is a psychologist, consultant, life coach, inspirational speaker, and entrepreneur. Dr. Harrell has combined her expertise in positive psychology, energy psychology, stress management, and mind-body therapies, to provide cutting edge services to individuals and businesses for over 15 years. In addition, she is a leading authority on the use of positive thinking to create health, happiness, and success. Dr. Harrell has taught graduate level courses at the University of Dayton and Wright State University. She is the President and co-founder of Popular Inspirations, Ltd. http://www.ipopin.com and co-creator of ipopins (the one minute affirmations).

Our Beliefs and How They Stop Us From Success

Beliefs are constructs of our internal world and how we view them. They are based on what we have experienced and what we perceive to be true. We all behave as if our beliefs were true and that is what gives us direction. If you 100% believe that you will create a successful business or wealth, without any doubt in yourself, your ability or any other factors, then you will behave as if it were true. When you behave as if it were true, then every decision you make, path you take and conversation you have is all geared around that one thing. You in fact MAKE it happen. You will also see things and interpret events, people and actions based on your beliefs. For instance, if you believe your neighbor is a thief based on what Mrs Smith told you at number 23 down the street, you will behave with that person in a way based on that belief. So, your interaction with that person is likely to be guarded and therefore precipitate a response which is guarded from that neighbor based on your behavior towards them. So, due to the fact you now have confirmed they are "shifty" you in fact are creating your own reality. However, Mrs Smith got her facts wrong and the neighbor is really a Nobel Peace Prize winner for charitable acts but you have just confirmed to yourself that they are a thief.

Think about it - if you believe you are not capable - then you will behave and make decisions based on that fact. So, if you deal with those negative beliefs about yourself, think what a difference that will make to your capabilities and results? AND what are those beliefs that you are capable based on? A one time event which started a repeated behavior? A repeated belief? So, if your reality is subjective, then if you think you are not capable is that in fact reliable, or would you like to change it to something else? With our beliefs and our reality we view the world as if everything we are seeing is the truth is real and that anything outside of that must either no be real or we disbelieve it. Everyone lives within boundaries of some description - whether they are enforced by society, our environment, what we have experienced or the influence of others. We also make judgments about others based on those boundaries and make judgments which ultimately revolve around our own experience so if we come across something we are not familiar with, we can automatically disbelieve it or possibly treat it as a threat until we understand it or in fact dismiss it completely without consideration. The problem with this is that we limit ourselves to the possibilities of growth and the ability to develop and progress and learn. Can you change your beliefs today and allow yourself to achieve everything you know you can? Make your reality today.

The director of Emma James Training Ltd is Emma James (amazingly!) who is a trainer of NLP, Hypnosis and Master TLT but also a Master Practitioner in all three therapies. Originally from Northern Ireland she has the drive and passion to constantly prove that NLP works, not only in her sport and coaching of others, but in therapy at her clinic and also in business application, taking people to levels they didn't think were possible.

Utilizing Relationship Self Help Advice to Soothe a Troubled Relationship

When you begin searching for relationship advice, you can find it in numerous places. You can find it in friends and family, who don't mind sharing their knowledge. You can find it through a therapist, who can listen to your problems. You can find advice in books and online. However, it's most important to remember that the best advice comes in the form of relationship self-help. What does this mean? It means you have to fix what is wrong with a relationship on your own; no one else can do it for you.

Think about this for a moment: why is that most people start out fine in a relationship, only to fail some time later? After all, most people just want three things in their life: happiness, success and most importantly...love. What is it that makes people fail in relationships so easily? It's actually the breakdown of three things that many people tend to forget over the course of the relationship.

When the relationship begins to breakdown, it's imperative to do relationship self-help on leaning these three things once more.

3 Relationship Self-Help Advices to Ponder

1.Staying Strong
There are very few people who like a needy, desperate person. Chances are you were a strong emotionally and spiritually and that was one of the things that attracted them to you in the beginning. Over the course of the relationship, it's likely a little insecurity slipped in and desperation about holding onto the relationship changed your perception a bit, causing you to act desperate and needy. It's imperative that you revert this course and find a way back to your former self.

2. Non Verbal Communications
Do you remember the times that you would sneak each other looks, knowing what the other person was thinking and feeling at that very moment? Does it seem like the relationship lost that vibe and fell into a routine of "Yeah, I know what you are thinking but...?" Did you constantly want to touch your significant other but now it's like no big deal? If so, then it's time to reclaim those feelings. Every now and then, do little non-verbal gestures that made a difference and let your other half know that you care.

3.Avoiding Conflicts and Talking Out Arguments
Does it seem like fights rule your relationship and nothing gets worked out? Conflicts do arise in a relationship so it's very important to talk out your problems. However, do it only after all the emotions have settled down. Don't forget that people often say things they do not mean in a fight so it's important that things are not taken too seriously in a heated argument. Instead, wait for everything to cool down and then speak. If it seems like no common ground can be found in an argument, it's probably best to let the matter rest.

How does this coincide with relationship self-help? Actually, when you have the ability to stop a conflict before it starts and couldn't do this before, you are helping yourself minimize the stress you feel along with any conflict that could arise from a heated discussion.

If you are truly serious about making a relationship work, seeking out relationship self-help advice is necessary. It doesn't mean that everything will change in an instant but it certainly won't change if you don't have the guidance to help you change. Remember this phrase: you can't make anyone else happy until you make yourself happy.

Are you thinking non-stop why you and your ex broke up? There is hope you could even fix your relationship and recapture his or her heart, mind and soul? Find out how using this unconventional method works like magic and why thousands have benefitted when they visit TheMagicOfMakingUp.com

Where is Heaven

Many people live their lives with the assumption that Heaven is out there somewhere and is completely separate from life on earth. Many are taught that Heaven is a mystical place only accessed through death of the physical body. But in actuality, the spiritual planes of reality and the physical earth plane interpenetrate one another in the same point in space. Each plane has its own unique energetic structure that vibrates at its own frequency. The physical world is the lowest vibration of energy and actually lies within higher vibrational planes.

We can routinely access some of the higher, less dense planes through sleep, meditation or prayer. Whenever we are in an altered state of consciousness, we align with higher vibrational planes of reality and may come to have an expanded awareness that we dont experience in a waking state.

In the case of meditation , as we connect with our higher self, our creativity may be awakened or we may experience a light bulb moment that gives us a better understanding of who we are or of a situation going on in our lives.

As we dream, we are whisked off to a land of symbolismthe secret language of Spirit. Dreams can offer clues that can help us to resolve matters in our current waking lives. Through our dreams, we may also come in contact with deceased friends or family members or even catch a glimpse of an event that hasnt happened yet. Dream interpretation is a very useful tool that can bring the workings of Heaven into our awareness.

In prayer to the God of our understanding, we place ourselves in a position to be humbly conscious of the limitless possibilities that Heaven offers us. By recognizing the opportunities open to us, we can act on them and bring them into manifest.

Heaven is not a place, it is a system a system of subtle energies that are constantly stirring about and creating new effects that help shape and transform our daily lives. The earth plane is not separate from this system; it is merely the physical component of it. The system that sustains us in life is the same system that sustains us in death.

Karin Nemri is a Spiritual Counselor, Aiijii Healer and inter-nationally known Lecturer/Presenter. She has a private practice in Connecticut. You may wish to visit her website, http://www.SoulutionsofLight.com to learn how Spirit works through her to help others.

How Do We Interpret Things?

With lot of things or events happening around us on a daily basis, we start believing that events control our lives and our environment has shaped who we are today. Right? No. . . wrong! It is not the events that shape up our lives, but our beliefs as to what those events mean to us. Take for example, two children born of the same father. where father is an alcoholic, drug addict, bitter and cruel who killed a liquor store cashier. One of his son turned out exactly like him. Where as his brother has a totally different story. . . a man raising three kids, happily married, working as a general manager for a blue chip company, finds work both challenging and rewarding. How these two people turned out to be totally different from each other, in spite of having grown up in the same environment?

When both were asked privately about this. . . they had the same answer. . . "What else could I have become with a father like that?"

Similarly, two women turning 70, each take a different meaning from the same event. One knows. . . that her life is coming to end. To her living seven decades means that her body must be breaking down and she did better be ready to exit from this game of life. The other woman decides that what a person is capable of doing at any age depends upon their beliefs and she sets a higher standard for herself. She decides that mountain climbing might be a good sport to begin at the age of 70!For the next 25 years, she devotes herself to this new adventure thus scaling some of the highest peaks of the world. Thus in her nineties, Hulda Crooks became the oldest woman to ascend Mount Fuji.

What I am trying to make a point here is. . . it is never the environment, it is never the events of our lives, but the meaning we derive from these events. . . how we interpret them, that shapes who we are today and who we will become tomorrow. So start giving the right meaning to the events of your life and make them memorable ones!

Get all motivational tips at Deepak.M's Self Development Zone Get all articles related to self improvement or self development at Self Development Zone.

Setting Goals That You Can Achieve!

We often hear the old saying that Failing to Plan is planning to Fail. Planning is indeed critical if we are to achieve what we truly want in our lives. For me there are a number of stages to creating a Plan:

The Vision

What I quite often refer to as the "Mountain Top View." Imagine that you are stood on top of a mountain and as you look around you everything you want in your life, in say five years time, is in place. Five years is probably as far as you should go and more often people feel more comfortable thinking about three years in the future. So as you look around you what do you see? Now don't go putting barriers in the way because remember you have achieved what you wanted to achieve, you have climbed the mountain! Everything from where you are stood now is what you wanted to be able to see.

Now for me in five years time we will have stopped working in someone else's box/business. We will instead be working in our own business, which will be based online, but have lots of real contact with people. We will be earning sufficient to maintain our lifestyle living in a wing of a large old Country House (of which there is a picture sat beside my computer monitor.) We will also be earning sufficient to keep us in the style we want to live long into the future when we move to live in Italy.

When I have worked with others in the past and when you are doing this part for yourself you should be able to say what colour Front Door your house or apartment will have etc in other words really paint the picture that you can see from the top of the mountain.

Boulder Avoidance.

This is where you look back down the mountain and try to spot the boulders you have overcome on your way to the top of the mountain. What were they? Were there some big boulders and some little ones? Make sure that you have a clear view of the things that tried to stop you getting to the top of the mountain so that when you sit down and work out your objectives over the medium and short term you know what you have got to overcome.

Now to give you an example probably the biggest boulder in our way at the moment is generating the income from our online activities and knowing which of the activities will generate what we need and which will not contribute to what we want to achieve. So here we are starting to think about where we need to focus our activities and are asking questions. Are there online activities which are taking up a large percentage of our time but contributing little to what we want to achieve?

It may be that there are some that you want to continue to take up a large amount of time without them contributing. However, you need to consciously be aware of that rather than bemoaning the fact that you are not achieving what you say you want to. If you are serious about running an online business and want to move full time online your mindset needs to change from "hobby" to "business".

Now I will turn to the specifics of creating your Plan. The two elements I have mentioned so far are the parts which people normally miss out. However, they are critical if the detailed part of your planning is to have a context and an aim.

Detailed Planning

In terms of the detail of the Plan you create it needs to have a focus on the Vision and be constructed in the Long Term (9 months plus), Medium Term (1 to 3 months) and the Short Term ( the next month).
You need to have a very clear focus on what you want to achieve in those time frames. In order to do that I work with SMART Objectives:

Specific - what exactly do I want to achieve?

Measurable - what numbers or other measurable element do I want?

Achievable - is what I am proposing achievable? Relevant - is what I am proposing to do relevant to enabling me to achieve my Vision?

Time bound - so I will achieve by xx/xx/06

SMART has always worked for me and if you combine it with PDR (Plan, Do and then Review) it's a surefire way of focusing you on what you need to achieve.

I will finish by simply saying that you should always keep asking yourself "have I done today what I planned to do and has it contributed to achieving my Vision?"

Paul Duxbury is a successful online entrepreneur with many successful websites. Some of the latest to launch include http://www.ecoach4u.com and http://www.sort-your-finances.com

How to Overcome Your Lethargy

Lethargy. When you really just can't be bothered to do anything apart from lounge around like a couch potato and even that's really a bit too much effort.

There are occasions when it's OK to feel lethargic. For instance, when you're recovering from an illness or a long project at work or an arduous sporting event. Your body needs time to relax and recuperate.

The problem is when you feel lethargic all the time...

So what can you do to get yourself back into the go getter you used to be?

Start by checking your diet. Certain foods may be attractive when you eat them but your body takes time to digest them, making you feel drowsy and sluggish. Lay off the heavy carbohydrates at lunch time - have a light meal instead - and see whether that helps.

Make sure you get a good night's sleep. It could be that your lethargy is because you're suffering from restless nights. Maybe that's being caused by stress in your life. Or it could be a change sudden in the weather and you're sleeping too hot or too cold, in turn causing you to sleep lightly, tossing and turning rather than getting a decent night's sleep.

Be careful about artificial stimulants. Things like coffee and tea, which both have caffeine in them. Cut down rather than cut them out completely. And be wary about drinking them too close to bed time. The same goes for alcohol - this has all sorts of side effects and could be hindering your recovery from lethargy.

Discover more ways to overcome your lethargy including a simple technique that only requires you to listen to an MP3 to help you get rid of your lethargy.

Numerology and The Number 11

Seeing the number 11 over and over in your daily
life can mean many things.

Its possible you have prominent 11 in your
comprehensive natal and, or timing charts, which
would mean the number 11 is especially
important to you.

Its common for people to favor certain numbers, or for
certain numbers to mysteriously show up time and again
in their lives, without even realizing that the numbers are
of great magnitude (i.e., position and, or frequency) in
their comprehensive charts.

Or, perhaps it could be purely a subconscious attachment
to the number 11 for any number of reasons.

An article (see Column link on site) dated January 6th,
2006 posted on our web site features more information
about the phenomenon of seeing the same numbers over
and over (whether it is the number 11 or other numbers).

Our Numerology Decoder Software correctly calculates
Master Numbers, can tell you where in your basic charts
you have them and what they mean in those positions.

11 is a Master Number, as are all double digit numbers,
such as 22, 33, 44, 55, 66, 77, 88, and 99. Master
Number is an appropriate term because the high side
of each Master Number represents rare and exceptional
energy originating from outside mundane reality, far
from the norm. But too often the low side of these
double digits manifests, and operating productively
under the energy is like trying to tame a wild horse,
especially when the person lacks the discipline and
general overall capacity to deal with lifes challenges
in the first place. Difficult personal timing as reflected
by the collective patterns of time cycles also symbolically
prohibits the constructive expression of Master Numbers.

11 is not an easy number, especially for material interests.
You want to avoid heavy speculation, for example, if you
have a lot of 11 energy in your comprehensive charts.
There is a huge potential for loss in high risk material
concerns, depending upon the rest of the patterns in the
natal and timing comprehensive charts.

Some of the more challenging traits associated with
the number 11 may include any of the following (other
considerations in the charts collectively either support
or mitigate the energy): Nervous energy, intense fear,
unpredictability, unrealistic outlook, lack of
discernment, religious dogma, fanaticism, insecurity,
hyper-sensitivity, controversial behavior, overly
receptive and vulnerable to the point of being an easy
target, self-deprecation, low self-worth, health issues,
stagnant energy, vacillation, excessive mutability or
changeability to the point of constantly riding the fence
and lacking true personal convictions, dual nature,
excessive idealism and unrealistic spiritual ideas
resulting in a cosmic fu-fu-based dogmatic outlook,
complex personality, untamed, wild inspiration,
emotional volatility, infamy, extreme behavior, or
insanity.

On the high side (again, other aspects/patterns
collectively either corroborate, moderate, or cancel
out the qualities), those with heavy 11 may possess
illumination, unparalleled spiritual awareness (if they
are otherwise grounded, as symbolized by the rest of
the comprehensive charts energy), magnetism, vision,
prophetic talent, charm, grace, inventive inspiration,
and they may have regular revelations to help guide
them on their earthly path. They are often natural
channels and mediums, messengers for the Gods, and
they frequently end up well-known or famous
(frequently very famous). Artistic talent is common,
as are big ideas, high standards, strong interest in
metaphysics and holistic healing, humanitarianism,
and public service, often through their work (although
it may not appear directly as public service).

11 pertains to heightened awareness and those with
plenty of 11 tend to get regular shocking insight about
their life and other people. After growing into their talent,
its not shocking any longer, at least to them. While they
are often vulnerable, they see others as they are, beyond
the personas and facades. They must learn to trust their
insight and avoid going with the expected modes of
thought and behavior. Grounding disciplines, such as
meditation, exercise, or artistic pursuits serve them well.
Those who try to ignore and deny their piercing
illumination risk phobias, obsessions, and even
psychosis.

Those with a traditionalist point of view possessing
heavy 11 who expect life conditions that appeal to
society (out of a desire for approval) are prone to
embarrassing life situations. For example, a messy,
very public divorce, or a daughter who comes out of
the closet in a very public way in a part of the world
where expressing ones true sexual orientation is still
significantly frowned upon is typical.

Again, 11 isnt easy. Those with a potent 11 along with
heavy materialistic considerations in the comprehensive
charts, sadly, are often challenged with integrity issues.
Duplicity and deceit eventually gain them infamy.
Kenneth Lay (The former CEO of Enron was convicted
of 10 counts of securities fraud in one of the most
publicized corruption scandals in U.S. history; Enrons
bankruptcy was the biggest in U.S. history when it was
filed in late 2001.) and Manuel Noriega (The Panamanian
dictator was accused of taking payoffs from a Columbian
drug cartel; in the early 1990s he was convicted and
sentenced to 40 years in U.S. prison.) are two prime
examples.

Divine revelation is intimately tied to the number 11.
The two columns of the side-by-side number ones
comprising the 11 symbolize a channel from higher
dimensions.

Unfortunately those with plenty of 11 are too often
seen as empty-headed. This is partly because its not
easy being in two places at once under the 11 (easier
with other Master Numbers, such as 22 or 77). They
split their energy between the earth plane and other
dimensions, often-times preferring the latter. Its as if
in their most previous existences, they spent more time
in angelic form instead of in human form. Its natural
for them to psychically tap into the mysterious, unseen
levels of being while generating their phenomenal
visions. However, they suffer from not spending 100%
of their time rooted on the earth plane, and it detracts
from a solid feet on the ground existence.

Number 11 demands that one lives their light, no
matter how good or bad that light might seem to
society. To do otherwise makes their life more difficult
than necessary. A compassionate viewpoint and candid
way of life, living within their ideals, allows them to
effectively spread their vision, fulfilling their earthly
mission.

Some great examples of known individuals with heavy
11 energy (in various, prominent positions in the
comprehensive charts) include the following:

*Leonardo DiCaprio, American actor, lead in Titanic,
the biggest grossing film of all time.

*George Patton, American military commander of
WW1 forces. He Claimed he had lived previous lives
as, among others, a Greek soldier and a Roman
Legionnaire.

*Jackie Stewart, Scottish-American pro race car
driver; one of the most famous race car drivers of all
time.

*Gene Wilder, American comedian and actor. Joined
the army in his 20s and spent two years in the
psychiatric hospital ward, which he later drew upon
for his role in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.

Copyright 2007 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Scott Petullo and Stephen Petullo are identical twins and have been exploring metaphysics since the early 1980s. They are experts in the fields of prediction, personal fate, love life, and past life regression, and are natural psychics and mediums. Get their free report: 13 Spiritual and New Age Myths and 11 Questions to Ask before hiring Psychic. http://www.mystictwins.com - http://www.holisticmakeover.com

Weight Loss Motivation

Lack of motivation is a major reason many people fail when it comes to losing weight. I myself know first hand. All the daily distractions in life can leave you distracted from what you truly want. This article will address 3-ways to stay motivated and give you better chances of succeeding.

Weight Loss Motivation Tip #1

The first step is convincing yourself this is something you must have. Write down the three main reason why you must lose weight. It could be anything such as health benefits, wanting more energy, wanting to increase your life span, etc. Re-sight these on a daily basis to keep you focused on why you must succeed.

It takes years to get out of shape, and even less to get in shape. The average life span for a human is around 70 years. Did you know it can take as little as 6 months to 1 year to get in shape for the average overweight person? Before you start any program, make sure you are willing to commit 6 months to 1 year at it. It will not happen overnight. Its going to take time and energy. Remember your why reasons to help keep you on track.

Weight Loss Motivation Tip #2

The next step is finding a program that works to follow. You should not just buy the first fad diets or exercising gimmick you see on the television. Most people know a handful of people who have tried some form of diet or exercise program that worked. Go to these people and find out exactly what they did. If you do not know anyone, you can find many forums and review sites on the Internet of real user that explain exactly what they have done. Visit some of these websites to for ideas.

Weight Loss Motivation Tip #3

The final step is having someone to motivate and consistently push you to keep going. This could be a spouse, friend, partner, or even someone on an Internet message board. You do not have to go it alone in fact, having someone to keep you motivated will increase your chances of success.

Everybody wants to get in shape and life healthy. In my opinion, everyone can. Using these weight loss motivation tips can drastically help increase your chances of weight loss success. Remember to identify your why reason, stick to a program that works, and find someone to keep you motivated.

This article is written by M. Martin. Find more tips, articles, and reviews for the top diet and exercise programs at Lose Pounds Fast a blog operated by M. Martin.

M. Martin lost 60 pounds following Fat Loss 4 Idiots diet program. A full review for this program can be found at Lose Pounds Fast

52 Ways to Live a Better Life by Shadonna Richards

Infinity Publishing (2009)

ISBN 9780741451675

Shadonna Richards, a Canadian registered nurse, freelance writer and former newspaper columnist, has put together a simple but concise book on how to live a better life. As a nurse working with terminally ill cancer patients, who are told they have only six months to live, she was inspired to write empowering words of wisdom. Richards also interviewed many individuals for her newspaper columns, thus compiling inspirational stories to encourage us to look at our own lives, makes changes as necessary, and to live a fulfilled life. Although her resources are Canadian, the concept of her book is global and I'm sure readers will find similar resources in their respective countries and areas.

"A Gift of Hope" is designed to be used as a workbook, with each week having an exercise to be done daily. For example, the first week starts with "Stay Mentally Fit." The text talks about the stresses in our lives and then gives exercises. The first exercise for the first week is to "Identify, then rectify." Richards says "A crucial part of any solution is locating the problem. Do worries keep you up at night? Go directly to the source of your tension." The second exercise for the first week is "Detox Your Mind." Richards says "We always have a choice. We can choose to dwell on being hopeless in situations or dwell on having hope."

The second week covers "Dare to Dream: Believe that Anything is Possible" and captures president-elect Barrack Obama's "Yes We Can" powerful slogan. Using his story and his dreams, Richards iterates that our dreams can become reality if we persist and believe.

Other weeks cover topics like: Understand That Money Isn't Everything, Reach out to those in Need, and Be the Friend You Desire to Have. For the purpose of this review I didn't have the opportunity to test the system for a full 52 weeks; however, being a student and teacher of transformation, I know it works. Shadonna Richards has provided a book, "A Gift of Hope," to take us to a higher level of consciousness, a place where we can manage our personal lives with ease and contentment.

http://www.readerviews.com/

Samuel L Jackson - The Famous Hollywood Actor

SAMUEL L. JACKSON (Abel Turner) Respectfully labeled as one of the hardest working actors in Hollywood, Jackson is an undisputed star as demonstrated by the fact that his films have grossed more money in box office sales than any other actor in the world. The recipient of worldwide acclaim and notoriety, Jackson has been honored with a variety of awards from some of the most prestigious organizations. He won the Best Supporting Actor award by the Cannes Film Festival in 1991 for Jungle Fever, the Silver Bear Award at the Berlin Film Festival in 1998 on behalf of Jackie Brown, he has received three Golden Globe nominations for Pulp Fiction, A Time to Kill and Jackie Brown, five NAACP Image Award nominations and one win in 2005 for his performance in Coach Carter,and most recently he has garnered two People's Choice Award nominations in 2006 and 2007 for Favorite Male Actor. Jackson made an indelible mark on American cinema with his portrayal of 'Jules', the philosophizing hitman, in Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction. In addition to unanimous critical acclaim for his performance, he received Academy Award and Golden Globe nominations as Best Supporting Actoras well as a Best Supporting Actor award from the British Academy of Film and Television Arts.

Among his many award-winning performances, Jackson made movie history with his portrayal of a crack addict in Spike Lee's Jungle Fever when he was awarded the first and only Best Supporting Performance Award ever given by the judges at the Cannes Film Festival. Jackson was most recently seen in Iron Man in a surprise cameo appearance and in the Doug Liman directed sci-fi action film, Jumper. In late 2007, Jackson had a starring role in the acclaimed drama Resurrecting the Champ, and a supporting role in the horror film 1408, based on the Stephen King novel. Earlier this year, Jackson starred in the Craig Brewer film Black Snake Moan, and Irwin Winkler's MGM war drama Home of the Brave.

This fall, in addition to Lakeview Terrace, Jackson's films will include the Dimension Studios comedy "Soul Men" with Bernie Mac and then on Christmas day, Jackson will star in the Frank Miller action drama The Spirit, where he portrays the nemesis, 'Octopus.' Other film credits include Cleaner, Snakes on a Plane, Coach Carter, Star Wars trilogy, In My Country, The Man, The Incredibles, S.W.A.T., Formula 51, Changing Lanes, Caveman's Valentine, Red Violin, Shaft, Unbreakable, 187, Eve's Bayou, Jackie Brown, The Negotiator, A Time To Kill, Die Hard with a Vengeance, The Long Kiss Goodnight and Deep Blue Sea. On the small screen, Jackson serves as Executive Producer for the animated series for Spike TV, "Afro Samurai" which premiered in 2007 and will be returning for a second season in January 2009.

He also just secured a first look television deal with CBS and their properties to produce and develop upcoming projects. In addition, Jackson has a production deal with New Line Cinema to produce and develop projects in which he has the option of starring. His first film project for the studio, in which Jackson will produce and star, is called Man That Rocks the Cradle. More details about movie and celebrities are available from the following site

http://filmsdunia.blogspot.com/

The Origin of the Master Key System by Charles F Haanel

I received an email from a reader named Derek L. in which he wrote -

Thanks for your great posts/blog. It's refreshing to see someone telling the truth and not selling more snake oil.

I do have a question...

I'm intrigued by the lineage of thoughts relating to this subject. Since you have a lot of exposure to this material I'm wondering if you have any ideas about where Haanel got his original concepts?

I am often asked that question because there is a lot of mystery surrounding Haanel and his perennial work, The Master Key System. Was he a part of a Masonic conspiracy? Did he receive his knowledge through arcane means? Someone even theorized about some Russian wizard of sorts who shared his knowledge with Haanel.

The history is quite interesting, but more blase than some of the stories would lead you to believe. The Master Key System must be looked at within the context of the late 19th and early 20th Centuries. The New Thought philosophy was in full swing with many books and magazines publishing the new beliefs for a seemingly ravenous audience. Based on Christian Science as espoused by Mary Baker Eddy, the Christian Scientists and many New Thought-ers held firmly to the belief about what Jesus Christ said about the powers available to each and every person.

Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. (John 14:11-13)

Thus, with enough faith and belief, one could perform miracles as Christ did. Even a cursory reading of The Master Key System would reveal to someone that this was something in which Haanel believed deeply. That being said, the monotheistic ideas that Haanel espouses is more than likely derived from his participation in Freemasonry - while the Masons do not define their God, their only prerequisite is a belief in one God. It is then through this God that miracles and extreme human potential can occur.

Before going further into this, it is worth pointing out that there were at least two other publications that emphasize the words "The Master Key" prior to the Twentieth Century. The actual phrase has been used since the 17th Century by the Freemasons and for a publication in the 18th century - Hiram, or the Master Key to the Door of Freemasonry, published in 1760. Another use of the phrase can be found in Madame Helena Blavatsky's famous (or should that be infamous) 600-page Isis Unveiled, with its sub-title A Master-Key to the Mysteries of Ancient and Modern Science and Theology, published in 1877. One shouldn't underestimate the popularity and influence of Blavatsky and those who followed her teachings - the Theosophists.

In the Twentieth Century, two authors released books with "Master Key" in the title. The first comes from L. Frank Baum, the author of The Wizard of Oz fame, and is an early science fiction novel. It was called The Master Key and subtitled An Electrical Fairy Tale. It told of the adventures Rob and the Demon of Electricity. This was published in 1901.

Another book came out at around the same time Haanel was working on his correspondence school. Its advertisement showed a book and a man reading a book inside an hour glass. The advertisement read:

The Master Key ~ Reveals Things You Never Thought Possible. The Hour Glass of Success. You Will Never get Another Book Like "The Master key".

It was written by L. W. de Laurence and published by The de Laurence Company of Chicago, Illinois, USA, in 1914. To quote a few lines from it will show obvious similarities with Haanel's The Master Key System.

"THE MASTER KEY is divided into Six parts: contains Thirty-seven full Chapters embracing Thirty-five Lessons of graduated difficulty covering Forty individual numbered Exercises in which the fundamental principles of Concentration and Mental Discipline are fully explained."

L. W. de Laurence, whose full name was Lauron William de Laurence, was an American author, publisher, and owner of a supply mail order house in Chicago. He has been accused of plagiarism and the illegal publication of various occult works. The number of publications by this man seems to be considerable.

De Laurence was active at the same time as Haanel and was in fact only two years younger than him. De Laurence, who was born in 1868 and died in 1936, had connections with AMORC. It is unclear whether there was any connection between the two authors.

This then brings us to the main influence of Charles F. Haanel's: the New Thought Movement.

When you read Haanel's The Master Key System, it isn't long before he starts to use terms that can be cross-referenced. To be fair to Haanel, many quotes he uses have nothing to do with the New Thought Movement. He was a man of his time and a well-read one. He used references from eminent people of the 19th Century and talks about the inventions of that time and the early years of the 20th Century. Other quotes come from the Bible but all are rather enigmatic and symbolic which could point to being influenced by New Thought writers, the Christian Scientists, the Freemasons, or the Rosicrucians. There are several hints of a possible knowledge of Hinduism, but it is unclear of Haanel's exact knowledge of that subject as references like Pranic Energy or Pranic Ether may be from the Rosicrucian teachings or possibly, and more likely, Theosophy.

There are several words and phrases that may be of interest:

• "The Great Architect of the Universe"
• "Secret Place of the Most High"
• "Universal Mind"
• the "I"
• "The Law of Attraction"

The "Great Architect of the Universe" is a phrase often used to represent God or Supreme Being by Christians, Freemasons, and Rosicrucians. It may go back to the Middle Ages or beyond. Thomas Aquinas used a similar phrase but with "Grand" instead of "Great".

"Secret Place of the Most High" can be found in the Bible in Psalm 91:1 -

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

The "Universal Mind" would seem to come from Friedrich Von Schelling and was expanded on by Georg W. F. Hegel. Ralph Waldo Emerson also made use of this term.

The concept of the "I" also seems to have its origins in the works of early German philosophers. It would seem that "I" was the first principle of Johann Gottlieb Fichte's Wissenschaftslehre - "Doctrine of Science".

The phrase that is on the tip of the tongues of many today is "The Law of Attraction". Like the other terms used by Haanel, this was probably not of his own inventing. It seems to have come to light first in the works of William Walker Atkinson (1862 - 1932) and particularly in Thought Vibration or The Law of Attraction in the Thought World published by The New Thought Publishing Co., Chicago, Illinois, USA, 1906. Though the phrase itself is much older, its meaning became somewhat different with Atkinson and Haanel.

The Law of Attraction also appears in the syllabus of the S.R.I.A. - The Society of Rosicrucians. However, it is not known how old this syllabus is and it is likely that it is quite modern. The S.R.I.A. was formed in 1909 with the idea of teaching to the general public rather than Masons as with previous Rosicrucian groups. Some other aspects of the S.R.I.A. syllabus bears similarities to Haanel's works. However, it may be that both this syllabus and Haanel's ideas are from an older source - or a just coincidence. It is unknown which came first.

Ultimately it may be possible to trace the idea of the Law of Attraction back to certain phrases that were put into the mouth of Jesus Christ in the New Testament of the Bible.

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8, King James Version)

Another book that cannot be ignored was published in 1908 and was called The Kybalion: Hermetic Philosophy by Three Initiates and published by The Yogi Publication Society, Masonic Temple, Chicago, Illinois, USA. It cannot be ignored that this book may have played a part in the development of Haanel's The Master Key System. It certainly wasn't a collection of lessons and exercises, but the wording throughout this book is remarkably similar to Hannel's publications. At one point the phrase "Mental Chemistry" is used. And though there is nothing in the title remotely similar to Haanel's work, the phrase "Master Key" is used in the Introduction and several times in the body of the book. The Kybalion also delves into the power of thought.

...(T)he Hermetic Philosophy is the only Master-Key which will open all the doors of Occult teachings.... One of the old Hermetic Masters wrote, long ages ago: 'He who grasps the truth of the Mental Nature of the Universe is well advanced on the Path to mastery.' These words are as true today as at the time first written. Without this Master-Key, Mastery is impossible, and the student knocks in vain at the many doors of the Temple.... The Principles of Truth are Seven; he who knows these, understandingly, possesses the Magic Key before whose touch all the Doors of the Temple fly open.

It is believed that The Kybalion is not some ancient document but was written by William W. Atkinson and the other "Initiates" have been guessed at as Paul Foster Houses and Mabel Collins. Atkinson was certainly active in the years leading up to the publication of The Master Key System and it is hard to believe that Haanel would not have known of either the man or his works. Master Key Arcana includes short pieces from the writings of several members of the New Thought Movement, including William W. Atkinson, James Allen, Florence Scovel Shinn, Henry Drummond and Phineas P. Quimby.

Whether Haanel was influenced by Atkinson, or any other members of this Movement, though, is another thing all together and it is difficult to be sure what his sources were.

Much of Haanel's life is a mystery. Not many records were kept or preserved and the lack of many living descendants who knew him add to us not knowing much about him. C. W. Evans-Gunther researched and examined Haanel's life as much as possible. His thorough biography can be found at www.haanel.com.

Researching Haanel's influences and their play on his works is somewhat easier. As was noted at the beginning of this article, when the times in which Haanel lived are examined, you can see the influences and how Haanel used those influences to shape his thoughts and his works.

In the time period in which Haanel lived, the self-help/personal development movement (although not called by those terms) was quite large and actually very similar to today's scene. As the saying goes, the times may have changed but things remain the same. By some counts, Haanel was a somewhat important player, although he never had the infamy of Blavatsky or a few others of the time.

It was all of these elements (at least) that came together in Haanel's mind to form one of the greatest books about personal development.

[Please note: This article was researched by C.W. Evans-Gunther. He is also responsible for writing the majority of it. Additional information was added by me. I am also responsible for additional editing and any mistakes that one might find. More information can be found at www.haanel.com.]

Anthony R. Michalski/Master Key Coaching

http://www.masterkeycoaching.com

Happiness & Personal Growth

You are a woman on a path of self-reflection, self-awareness and expansion. One of the things that can be really frustrating is knowing that you have a lot of personal work to do, but you are not sure where to start.

Just like trying to choose the perfect shampoo and conditioner for your hair type and budget, trying to find just the right guide for your personal growth journey can be overwhelming.

There are TOO MANY choices. You spend way too much time standing in front of the shelves. Time you could be spending doing something personal and expansive.

Here are 4 essential insights to keep in mind as you walk your personal inner journey.

1. Keep it Simple

* How many self-help books do you own?
* Have you read them all?
* Do you feel pressured to buy each new 'best-seller'?

The most basic tenet speaks for itself. Keep it Simple. You don't need to own every self-improvement book on the market. Choose one that really resonates with you and allow yourself the luxury of giving it your full attention.

2. Keep it about you

Instead of rushing out to buy the next best seller, tell yourself that you already have enough. You have all the wisdom you need today; it is waiting for you when you turn your focus within.

Clean out your bookshelf. Let go of the pressure all those unread volumes quietly exert. Give them as gifts to your friends and let them go or just acknowledge that they look great on the shelf, but you don't need to read them all.

Get your journal out. Spend your time focusing on you. Reflect on what is going on inside for you. Get to know who you are at your center.

*What is your reading other people's stuff to writing your own stuff ratio?

3. Keep it Positive

This statement doesn't mean that you can't work through your issues, pain, and unresolved places. It does mean to do so with a mind and heart-set of growth, resolution, healing and possibility.

Wallowing around in your emotional muck just for the sake of it, is counterproductive your growth.

Decide that from this day forward, your inner work will focus on your strengths, hopes, growth, possibilities and potentiality. Decide that nothing is more important than feeling good. Your personal energy will lighten.

* Look back at your old journals.
* What was the overall tone?
* Are the pages full of self-criticism or were you kind and loving to yourself?

4. Progress not perfection

There are no rules on this journey. You will never get it finished and you will never get it perfect, so let go of all that. Just keep moving forward. Do something each and every day that take you to a deeper and more loving understanding of the beautiful woman you are.

The path to enlightenment does not require a lot of external resources. You might be surprised to learn how well equipped you are to travel simply and lightly. This personal adventure will reward you with gifts and surprises aplenty.

Wishing you Peace & Abundance... Joyce Lee "Your Life Empowerment Coach"

2008 joyceleelifecoach.com

Are you ready for more opportunities to explore and reflect? Go to http://joyceleelifecoach.com/prompts.html for your special gift of "20 Profound and Provocative Journal Prompts" designed to help you focus on your life with a spirit of peace.

Joyce Lee is a certified Life Empowerment Coach, Personal Growth Facilitator and Law of Attraction Practitioner, specializes in helping women understand the Law of Attraction and deliberately creating the life they really want.

The Do's and Don'ts of Divorce For Parents

An important note:

Divorce is a very complex occurrence that takes place within the family. This article will not attempt to cover all of the many nuances and intricacies involved in dealing with children who are experiencing a divorce. There are therapists who deal specifically with divorces as well as many books written on the effects of divorce on children and on parents. Many towns have programs committed to working with children of divorced families, which can be very effective in helping kids come to terms with what's going on. All of these options should be considered.I hope this article will offer some useful ideas, but I want to stress the fact that it is not meant as a substitute for a broader understanding of divorce and its effect on parents and children.

There are as many types of divorces as there are types of families, and each family creates their own little theater in which the divorce is acted out. For some families, divorce emanates from the adults not being able to get along, solve problems or communicate effectively. In other families, the divorce is the recognition that things are not working for the good of everyone involved. In certain families, divorce isa way to get out of an abusive or destructive relationship, in which case those children ultimately benefit psychologically, even though they will still face fears and even feel loyalty toward the offending parents.

The reason whya divorce is very traumatic for the children involved is because things are changing for them completely and the future is unknown. The most powerful people in their lives have decided to go on a completely different course. Kids use their parents to manage their fears of the unknown. When kids get anxious about the future, they have an unconscious mechanism that tells them their parents will take care of whatever it is that's bothering them. They do this often and without thinking about it. Divorce can be considered traumatic because it overpowers the children involved. They don't have the tools or the experience to manage the overwhelming feelings andchanges that are happening in their lives. They tend to deal with them in different ways, depending upon what the personality and nature of the child is. "Fear" is often the core feeling they have: Fear that they're going to lose things they have, and fear that they're not going to have things they want. What you'll see in some cases is that one child will buckle down and do OK in school, and the other child will give up and stop working. These two very different reactions may even occur in the same family. What that means is that one child is dealing with his fear and insecurity through isolating, while the other child is focusing on external things like schoolwork and sports.Some children deal with their fear and anger by acting their emotions out and striking out at others. One withdraws into the fort; the other goes out to meet the enemy.

The major emotions involved with divorce are fear, anger, and grief. The general fear for children is that things are changing and they don't know what they're changing into. The anger is that they have no control or power over the situation. And grief emanates from the very real fact that the family they knew has perished. It's as if it died, and they must, over time, grieve that family. As a parent, you will see the behaviors that characterize anger, fearfulness and grief. The anger might be viewed through verbal or physical acting out, through increased oppositionality and defiance, behavioral acting out in school, or anger and frustration taken out on other siblings or the residing parent. The fearfulness manifests itself through a process of shutting down. Kids will isolate emotionally and physically, spending more time in their rooms or out of the house. They may appear more secretive. They are withdrawing into themselves because of some instinctual feeling they have that this is the best way to protect themselves. And you'll see kids act out the stages of grief. They may bargain with their parents and try to figure out how to keep them together, they'll be in denial about the significance of the divorce; they'll be angry about what it means to them and eventually, if it's a healthy grieving process, they'll come to accept it, but that takes time and work. No matter how the kids handle the divorce, they generally don't want to talk about it to either parent, which creates problems for parents who desperately want their children to understand what's going on from their perspective.

Kids draw their strength from a variety of sources, but most of all from their parents and their family system. When kids are younger, their parents and family are their sole source of strength. As they develop, school performance, friends and sports become sources of strength, depending upon the individual child. So the first thing parents have to understand is that when the divorce is announced, the kids are going to experience a lot of insecurity about what the future holds. Parents may also feel that insecurity themselves, but they feel empowered to manage it. Children are completely dependent. It's a sad fact that many children go into poverty after a divorce because the money that used to support one household is now going to support two. The biggest cause of poverty among single parent families in America is divorce. So it puts fear in children. They wonder "What's going to happen to my parents? Are we going to have enough food? Will I have clothes? Can I still go to the mall on Fridays? Will we be able to do the same things?" These questions all float around in the kids' heads. Some fears have to do with the well-being of the parents and of the family, and some are age appropriately self-centered. And parents will do well to focus on these things when they talk to the child about the divorce.

Develop a Culture of Accountability in Your Home

Single parents have to develop a culture of accountability in their home once the separation or divorce has taken place. A "culture of accountability" position is one that says, "You are still accountable for your behavior here at home." So no matter what else is going on outside the house or whatever feelings the child is having, including those that come from legitimate sources, the child is responsible for his or her behavior. I would say that being structured and clear after a divorce is much more helpful to kids than compromising your values because your children are going through a tough time. Remember, it's during tough times that we need reliable structure the most. Limits, accountability, parental support, outside support when necessary-these are all part of a culture of accountability in the family. Kids experience a whole range of emotions when a separation and divorce occur. Remember that "divorce" and "separation" are legalistic terms. Once one parent moves out, the kids' adverse emotional experience begins, no matter how it's labeled.

Have structure that clearly sets out the responsibilities of each child, outline the way they have to treat each other and the way they have to treat you as the parent. Make sure the limits are clear. Issues such as curfews, use of phone, computer and TV time, expectations around schoolwork and other commitments should all be kept very clear. Hold kids accountable for not meeting their responsibilities. And don't let things slide because of your divorce. You certainly don't have to be punitive, but you have to be consistent. Be available to your kids if they want to talk about the divorce or any other subject, and let them know you're available to talk about things without specifically citing the divorce. Seek outside support when necessary. Certain types of counseling can be very helpful to kids who are experiencing the feelings of grief after a divorce. Also, if children are older and they test the limits by being physical or threatening, do not hesitate to call the police. There are many situations where kids sense a vacuum of power, and they will try to fill it if the parent does not. This can be especially troublesome in families where there is an adolescent, or families where the children don't reside with the parent who was the primary limit-setter.

Do's and Don'ts of Parenting after a Divorce

There are many "do's" and "don'ts" for parents after a divorce, but here are a few that I think are crucial:

• Don't push kids to talk about the divorce if they don't want to. Be inviting, but not demanding. Let them know there are other resources available to them outside of the family.
• Do hold kids accountable for their behavior. If kids are acting out, be clear with them. Let them know that even if they're acting out because of the divorce, they'll still be held accountable for their behavior.
• Don't talk negatively about the other parent. It's never a good idea.
• Don't jump into another relationship and expect kids to be accepting of that person. That may soothe your sense of loss, but for kids, it's only confusing and frustrating
• Don't try to have deep, meaningful conversations with your kids about the divorce. They may act "adultified," but they are not little adults.
• Do acknowledge that things have changed.
• Don't share all your fear, anxiety, anger resentment or grief with your children. They're not at a level of development where they can handle that. Often, it makes them feel like they have to take care of you, and that's not a good position for them to be in.
• Do family organizational planning and structuring without emotions. Sit down and let kids know what roles are going to change. Don't do it democratically. Don't ask for opinions or votes. It's not helpful to kids to put that responsibility on them.

"Dad lets me do it at his house."

As I mentioned, a single parent has to develop the culture of accountability in their household. What happens at mom's house or dad's house is none of your business, except in cases of safety. Do not let it become part of your child's alibi system. When your son or daughter says, "Dad lets me do this at his house," tell them that they'll have to wait until they get back to Dad's house until they do it again, because in your home there are consequences for that behavior. You may feel frustrated with the way your ex parents your children, but don't try to control what goes on in the other parent's home. That's a dead end street. There are many situations where parents cooperate with each other after the separation or divorce, but let's face it, people divorce because they don't like each other any more, so cooperation can only go so far.

Another issue is that many ex-spouses tell their children details of the marriage that you would rather they didn't know. This is a common occurrence and parents have to work on not giving it power. First of all, if you show your child that this information has power over you, that child is going to use it in certain situations. So the idea is to say something like, "Whatever your mother says at her house, just discuss it with her. This is not a place to talk about it." I personally don't think you should discuss specifics about the divorce. I think you should say, "That's Mom's opinion. You'll have to talk to her about that. In my house, I don't blame your mother, and I don't let her blame me." Understand this: Separation and divorce usually don't occur or don't emanate from a peaceful, easygoing marital situation. There are often occurrences such as strong arguments and fights, blaming, cursing, and bad feelings which precede the actual separation or divorce. For better or worse, kids have witnessed what's occurred and they will know the truth. Parents who use the "Culture of Accountability" model teach kids that using excuses and blaming others does not justify their inappropriate or irresponsible behavior.

If you teach your children not to make excuses and not to justify inappropriate behavior, they will be better prepared to identify when the other parent is using excuses and justifications to explain their behavior.

When is family counseling in order?

Family counseling is a very tricky issue. Some therapists will say that it should not include both parents because it is artificial, and helps kids promote the normal fantasy that their parents will get back together. On the other hand, there are therapists who believe that even if there's a divorce, the family should address it as a whole system. There are a lot of variables that come into play when deciding which course to take with which therapist. One thing is clear-your child should have the option of seeing someone, but they should not be forced to if they're managing the divorce effectively. If your child is having behavior problems which either stem from or are intensified by the divorce, the help should be based on him or her learning to manage the problems and feelings underlying the behavior.

My opinion is that therapy should be flexible enough to involve everyone in various combinations, but still avoid involving sessions with both the parents and the children present unless absolutely necessary. Before those sessions, strict ground rules and agendas must be agreed upon by both parents. Remember, it is very likely the differences in perception, interpretation, and behaviors which led to the divorce in the first place could be acted out in the artificial situation. In some cases, kids will not want to participate in these types of therapeutic activities. In my experience, if kids are managing the divorce and the other areas of their life well, they should not be pushed to be involved. On the other hand, if they're having behavioral or academic performance problems, behavior management therapy should be on the menu.

Divorce carries an inherent risk of damage to the children involved. The more quickly the adults going through the divorce take responsibility for being parents instead of spouses, the better the chances the children will have of adjusting to the new reality of their lives.

For three decades, behavioral therapist James Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled teens and children with behavior problems. He has developed a practical, real-life approach to managing children and adolescents that teaches them how to solve social problems without hiding behind a facade of defiant, disrespectful, or obnoxious behavior. He has taught his approach to parents, teachers, state agencies and treatment centers in private practice and now through The Total Transformation Program -- a comprehensive step-by-step, multi-media program that makes learning James' techniques remarkably easy and helps you change your child's behavior.

Change, Happiness, Success And Our Core Values

The saying that "change is the only constant thing in this world" holds profound meaning in every sense of the word. Backed by this universal truth is also the dictum that there is no such thing as 'forever'. However, amidst all these acclaimed universal truths, there are things in this world that stay eternal: One of them our set of core values the fundamentals that enable us to find happiness and success in our lives.

In his # 1 National Bestseller book that sold over 10 million copies, author Stephen R. Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (1990 ed.) illustrates his own personal experience on change. As a parent, he claims that to change a situation, we first have to change ourselves, and to change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions. However, Dr. Phil argues that it's more complicated than that. Illustrated in his book Life Strategies - Stop Making Excuses! Do What Works, Do What Matters (1999 ed.), he firmly wants to instill in our minds the glaring truth about change that we can not change what we do not acknowledge. In similar fashion, I totally agree on his argument. It's like saying that the hardest thing to open in this world is a closed mind - therefore making change difficult to occur.

There are some people who have a mindset to make some changes in their lives and choose to be happy. Even the great Chinese philosopher Confucius would agree in his belief that "man must be wise and unafraid to live a happy life" - a philosophy similarly shared by his contemporary, Mencius where he enumerates three mature virtues of his 'great man' as wisdom, compassion and courage deliberated in Lin Yutang's book, The Importance of Living (1962 ed.) a must-to-read book for daily living.

Likewise, Stephen R. Covey focuses the "Character Ethic" as the foundation of success things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty and the Golden Rule.

In his book, he presented Benjamin Franklin's autobiography as the epitome of these values "a man's effort to integrate certain principles and habits deep within his nature", he explained. The Character Ethic, according to Covey teaches us that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.

In addition, Anthony Scire's dynamic and contemporary book The Power of 2 (2003 ed.) promotes building solid relationships over the long term and encouraging us to be "nice, kind and good" to everyone we know and meet. This highlights Henry James's core value of kindness:"Three things in human life are important", he said. "The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind." In the same book, then eminent Bishop Fulton J. Sheen admonished us to also take control of our emotions so that we may live a successful and happy life. He said: "Each of us makes his own weather determines the color of the skies in the emotional universe which he inhabits."

Change therefore is inevitable in our lives. If - and when it comes, our core values should help us adapt to the consequences of change. Hence, as exemplified by great and wise men of past and present generations, our happiness and success depend upon our core values and attitudes.

Letty R. Vendramini
http://www.7PowerWords.com/

Your Voyage To Happiness Begins Here. Learn how you can find real happiness in your life and how to live it to the full. Abandon unhappiness and achieve true lasting happiness. Discover the "real you" and unleash the joy within.

Visit http://www.BestSecretsToHappiness.com/ and receive Your FREE Happiness Report Worth $47 On How You Can Find True Lasting Happiness In Your Life. Click now to download. Alternatively Letty regularly writes articles on How To Sustain True, Lasting Happiness available to view at http://www.BestSecretsToHappiness.com/blog/

Letty R. Stevens Vendramini acquired two degrees in Bachelor of Philosophy (Ph.B) Minor in English and Bachelor of Social Work (BSocWk). Letty teaches subjects in Philosophy, Psychology, Public Speaking, Argumentation and Debate, English Grammar and Composition, Research and Thesis Writing and Business Ethics. Letty is a part-time Private Practitioner in Social Work-Counseling. She is also a writer, a newspaper columnist/correspondent and an editor.

Books On Financial Freedom

Financial freedom is the most important thing a person can have, but it can also be very difficult to achieve. Most people will need assistance from an outside source. For those of you who cannot afford to hire a financial expert to manage your finances, there are many books available that will teach you how you can use your money wisely and eventually achieve financial freedom.

There are many financial experts, as well as people who have already achieved financial freedom, writing self-help books for people wanting to free themselves from the clutches of living in debt. The hardest part is choosing the right one. You will need to make sure that the advice you follow is the right one; you do not want to follow the wrong advice and go further in debt.

These books are not very expensive, and they are very helpful. They will be able to give you very valuable advice. There are also books available on the Internet that contain the same material.

If you are able to access the Internet, you should first look for online books on financial advice. This will save you money, considering these are usually free. If you have the need to have a paper copy of the book, there are many places from which you would be able to obtain one. Obviously, bookstores carry books of this nature. You will also be able to buy financial books on the Internet, since most major bookstores have a website where you can place orders. There are many websites available from which you can purchase your book. In fact, some of these websites will offer these books at a lesser price than if you buy them at a bookstore.

Debt is the number one cause of many problems in peoples lives. Getting out of debt is the first and most important step a person needs to take in the process of achieving financial freedom. If you think this task is too difficult to achieve without assistance, then it is best that you buy a book that will aid in your struggle to achieve financial freedom.

Financial Freedom provides detailed information on Financial Freedom, Steps To Financial Freedom, Financial Freedom Resources, Financial Freedom Services and more. Financial Freedom is affiliated with Commercial Equity Line Of Credit.

Top Keynote Speakers and Event Speakers

There are many people who have the skills and understanding necessary to be effective when it comes to public speaking. However, not all speakers have what it takes to command an audience, making them effective keynote speakers. When choosing the right keynote speaker for your engagement, it is necessary to choose a speaker that can command your audience properly and can maintain their attention long enough to get their message out. Five of the most effective keynote speakers are Keith Harrell, Vince Poscente, Joseph Michelli, Ram Charan and Michael Treacy.

Keith Harrell -- Keith Harrell is a former marketing executive for the IBM Corporation, and has more than thirteen years of corporate experience as one of IBM's top training instructors. Keith Harrell travels all across the world in other to impact the lives of his clients on both a professional and personal level. Keith Harrell works as an author, a consultant, a trainer and a speaker, and is highly recognized for the enlightening and innovative presentations that he makes in order to share his ideas with other business owners.

Vince Poscente -- Vince Poscente has the mind set which is necessary in order to meet the demands of corporate culture, including the perfect balance of a passion for excellence, a dedication to the journey and a balance of mental toughness. Vince Poscente had what it took to turn himself into a Olympic skier from a recreational one in the span of only four years. Willing to try absolutely anything and everything once, he took part in his first Hi-Tek adventure race in July of 1998, then went on to the competition at Castaic Lake in October of that year. Against 259 teams, Vince's team emerged in 45th place.

Joseph Michelli -- Joseph Michelli is a speaker who is sought-after on an international level. He is also an organizational psychologist, and a business consultant. Joseph Michelli is known for urging people and businesses alike to achieve the extraordinary. Joseph Michelli is known for writing best-selling books about business principles, and he also hosts a radio program in Colorado. Joseph Michelli works to share his knowledge of business practices by delivering keynote presentations which work to develop productivity in the workplace.

Ram Charan -- Ram Charan co-authored a title called "Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done", and is an active advisor to CEOs who belong to fortune 100 companies, as well as emerging firms funded by venture capital. Ram Charan strives to convert visions into action and reality using his business techniques and ideas. Visit Rams new book Know-How The 8 skills that separate people who perform from those who dont.

Michael Treacy -- Michael Treacy is an expert on corporate strategies and the transformation of businesses who is widely known and recognized for giving companies what they need to help them achieve leadership in the market. Michael Treacy has been working to help improve businesses for more than 25 years and continues to be a strong presence in the business marketing industry. Michael Treacy takes on the greatest strategic challenges in order to transform businesses all over the world, and has plenty to say about business practices and what it really takes to get a business off the ground.

2007 RightNow Communications

Public Speakers

Dr. Joseph Michelli Video

Vince Poscente Video

BOOKING INFORMATION:

Brooks International Speakers Bureau
763 Santa Fe Drive, Denver, CO 80204
PHONE: 303.825.8700
FAX: 303.825.8701

Persuasion Techniques

Don't you just envy how some people seem to get their way more often than not? These people always seem to have all the right words and all the right moves. However, if you take the time to actually study these people, you may be surprised to discover that they have more than just a few persuasion techniques in common.

These persuasion techniques allow them to easily get people to their side and persuade others to their way of thinking. And if you read the rest of this article, you too will be able to tap into this extraordinary power.

Know your audience

As wonderful as it would be to just magically convince another person to share your views, life doesn't quite work that way. You have to know where your audience is coming from in order for you to know which angle you can best appeal to.

If you're dealing with somebody who is more emotional, you can actually use feelings to plead your case. The chances of your success will definitely increase.

Turn weaknesses into strengths

During a job interview orientation, one of the moderators gave me a very helpful advice. She said that when asked for your weaknesses, try to position your statement into something more positive. Instead of, "I'm very shy and soft spoken," you can say, "I'm currently working on my communication skills."

By using persuasion techniques like this, you don't run the risk of scaring your customers away. In fact, they will be delighted to hear somebody with such a positive outlook on life.

Cite the positive facts

Naturally, you would want to tell your audience what the benefits are. People are generally happy to learn what they can gain from something.

You're not going to lie or make up stories. Those do not fall under persuasion techniques. When you persuade, you have to be certain that all your facts are true. Otherwise, your lies will come back to haunt you.

Even when you don't have magic on your side, these persuasion techniques will certainly help you win your audience over. Just follow these basic steps and you'll soon be able to talk your way through anything!

Discover how you can use the psychology of persuasion to change behaviors and influence anyone to your way of thinking! Get a FREE course that reveals groundbreaking persuasion secrets at http://www.20daypersuasion.com/secrets.htm

Improve Your Life This Year

We have a tendency to put off improving ourselves. We know there are things that we can improve in our life and even things that we should improve, yet many people procrastinate. Next year will be the year that they make the changes that they need to. Next year will be the year that they make their life better. Why not make next year this year instead?

When we put things off it can be because of many different things. The two most common ones are fear and the feeling that we do not know how to change. But the truth is that we can whenever we want. There are countless resources that you can use to help you to improve your life. You can further your education so that you make many improvements along the way.

When we are afraid, we are powerless. Take the power back and put it where it belongs. With you! You don't have to wait for anything to come along for you to decide to make your life what you want it to be. The better equipped you are and the more resources that you use to improve your life, the better off you will be.

Learn what you can do and what steps that you can take to make the life that you are living right now everything that you want it to be. Make this year a year of action and stop putting things off. Attract what you want and make sure that you do indeed get it!

Learn how to attract love, money, or happiness or all three in YOUR LIFE NOW! Go to http://www.successfulfather.com and SIGN up for the FREE newsletter and BOOKMARK the site and return as often as you can!

You can attract the life that you truly desire! All you have to do is learn HOW!

Bryan Appleton is an investor/entrepreneur who has dedicated himself to teaching others how to achieve their dream life. He is also a proud single father with one son.

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